Before I get to Betty though, I just want to say that I hate bear boxes. Five days into using these things and it has become a hassle. It's not just an issue of putting the coolers in them, I think I could handle that. In reality its nearly everything. Food, diapers and wipes, medication, first aid kits, soap, sponges, chapstick, toothbrushes and toothpaste, dirty dishes, trash and even Elsa's car seat. That's right, a bear might smell residual food from snacks on a car seat and decide to destroy your car. I am sure that Christi will tell you all about our bear sighting today, so the danger is real, but bear management in general introduces a level of annoyance that makes things in camp more tedious. You have to be within ten feet of any item that belongs in a bear box while it is out. That means if your cooking in Betty and you sit items on the picnic table then you have to have an adult in both places. Forget about chasing Elsa around and managing your dirty dishes simultaneously. I think it's a good program because it has dramatically reduced the incidence of bears having to be put down, but like I said before, it can become a hassle.
Alright, so with that out of the way... I introduce Betty. She is pretty cool. For those of you who might have been around us anytime in oh, say the last nine months and got subjected to at least part of our planning for this trip, you may already know that we were trying to decide between a small RV and the VW Westfalia (Westy for short). The VW won out in the end because it was smaller, more likely to fit in parking garages in San Fran, cheaper, and imparted a bit of authentic hippy factor to the trip. What it had against it was the fact that it is old enough to drink legally in all 50 states, lacks a bathroom, generator, and horsepower. I think I might have touched 60 mph during one downhill stretch of highway and had to back it off down to 50 again so she didn't shake apart. In the parks her low speed is less of an issue because the speed limit is lower, but we still have to pull off the road frequently for others to pass. All the roads here in Seki (what the rangers call Sequoia/Kings Canyon) are either sharply up or down so I average about 20 mph. No joke. Uphill the diminutive engine is to blame, and downhill the brakes suck badly enough that I have to leave it in second gear to slow things down. That results in a safer decent, albeit at roughly the rate that a sloth descends a tree on an indecisive day.
Unlike a European trip a few years back where we rented a dud of a vehicle that was so slow I returned it and asked for a real car, I don't mind Betty's lack of speed on this trip. People take one look at the vehicle and understand that you're not being a dick by driving so slow -- it literally can't go faster. What it lacks in speed, it makes up for in charm. She is 21, and still in great shape inside. Some things are clearly aged, but so far (knock on wood) everything still works, and she looks cool doing it. We have seen other people in the RV we would have rented... And while I am envious of them and their bathroom at 2:00 a.m., when I am trying to climb out of the top bunk quietly to go take a piss outside in 30 degree weather, I am not envious of the huge screen print covering the entire RV with the logo of the rental company. Instead of looking like chump tourists (which we are), we slip by looking and feeling a little more like hardcore hippy campers.
I say hardcore because we essentially sleep in a tent on top of the car in freezing temps, and also because we are much less fortified against the bears that so desperately want to eat us. As for the hippy thing, I just look and smell nappy after 4 days without a shower. Damn those clean people in the RVs with their bath/shower combo and hot water run by generators. It's back to nature for us. Why would I even want to be clean?
In all seriousness though, Betty is a marvel of German design. She is thoughtfully laid out and quite versatile. If the National Parks had water and electrical hookups, she would be even more functional. But as it is, we are actually having fun living out of something quite a bit smaller than a church van. Funny, isn't it? Apparently the bears think so, because they are leaving us around for the high comedy that comes from watching us try to cope with our bear box.
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