So today was Father's Day, and my primary present was that Christi gave me the day to go do the Half Dome hike. Yosemite is dominated by Half Dome, a massive piece of granite that presides over the valley. The hike to the top of this rock also looms large as one of the quintessential day hikes in the US. It's 17 miles long, gains 4'800 vertical feet and ends in a semi-technical ascent of the side of the dome using a set of cables which have been permanently fixed to the rock. Aside from the extremely strenuous nature of the hike, it's the fear factor that makes this hike such a big deal. It's the deadliest hike in the US, with numerous fatalities in recent years, most of which occur when people slip off the cables and slide into the valley, some 3000 feet below. People tend to freak out from the heights when they get to either the sub-dome switchbacks or the cables. This tends to make for a memorable end to an already devilishly steep hike and awards the brave with views of the valley from Yosemite Valley's highest point. It also comes with bragging rights and cred among hikers.
Unfortunately, I will not join this cadre of the brave and awed. After setting a brutal pace to reach the sub-dome in 3 hours and 40 minutes (that's better than two miles per hour over 8.5 miles and gaining 4,400 feet for those taking notes), I was unable to muster up the courage to make the last 100 vertical feet of the sub-dome. I stopped just short of the cables, which I am convinced I could have made it up had I been able to reach them. I was really, really disappointed. In the epic battle of man vs. himself, himself won this round.
The sub-dome is a 650 foot high bulge of granite which looks like a hip on the side of Half-Dome. It was once thought to be too steep to ever be ascended, but the Civilian Conservation Corp changed that during the Great Depression by building a series of switchbacked staircases into the face of the rock. I was doing well for the first 550 vertical feet of stairs (1/2 mile in length), which largely traversed the face of the rock, but I got to one of the final sections that changed direction and more or less became a staircase straight up the rock. That freaked me out a bit because the view looking back down those stairs was more or less straight down. The stairs are really tall, irregular and covered in loose granite pebble and dust. I became concerned about going up further (going up freaked me out less) and not being able to come back down. I tried twice, and twice backed down after two steps. Some people were coming down, so I stepped to the side to let them pass, and then the girl in the lead did exactly what I feared most... she slipped on the loose dust. She sat down quickly and was fine, but more or less continued on to the bottom on her hands and knees, which actually seemed more dangerous to me. That more or less took away any confidence I was trying to muster up. After two more failed attempts, I decided to turn around.
Looking back I should have realized that it was the crux of the whole climb, and if I could have mustered up enough courage to make it up those 15-20 steps, I could have probably made it the rest of the way up the sub-dome. I should also have realized that because I was better going up, that reaching the top would have probably given me more courage going back down and it might not have been as big a deal after reaching the top. At the time, though, I was afraid that if I didn't summit the cables that I would be so shaky coming down that I would make a mistake and slip.
After months of hitting the gym with the goal of reaching the top of Half Dome, and months of research, thought and anticipation it was crushing to have to turn around. Fortunately, there were still some great views from the place I got to, so I did get some good pictures, and who knows, maybe with a hiking partner offering encouragement, I could probably do it on a second attempt, but I doubt I will ever try. I take solace in the fact that I did the entire round trip in under eight hours when most hikers take around 12-14. I commented to the ranger checking permits at the base of the sub-dome that it was a tough hike and I was happy to have done it in 3 hour 40 minutes, and he said in a very sincere tone that more than a few of the backcountry rangers couldn't hike it that fast. It proves I was in good shape and ready for the hike. Nerves just got the best of me. There are other hikes that are steep and end with great views, but not near as scary. The Four Mile Trail we did on Tuesday is a great example of that. I am still sad that I didn't get the personal satisfaction of reaching the top, and to the opposite, that I feel depressed for having failed on my quest, but I guess I live to hike another day.
In general I think the same "almost achieving greatness, but still falling short" idiom applies to this entire trip. Yosemite could be the most phenomenal place in the entire country, but is tainted by being the Disneyland of the outdoors. We didn't get to do many planned hikes due to weather, and as I type this we are still uncertain what we are doing for the later half of next week since Tuolumne is flooded and all the state parks are fully booked. Add Elsa's illness and general temperament to the mix and we are left with a trip that could have been truly amazing but fell short by just 100 feet. How disappointing.
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